It always has and always will be a hook up app. Plain and simple. Previously, I told you about Justin. It went off the rails a few days after our meet up and stupidly, last Saturday he decides to text me to meet up with him at a bar - sorry, you haven't spoken to me in a week and you want me to come visit you at a bar? No thanks.
During this time, M. and I resumed texting. We texted briefly and then he disappeared and reappeared again. We went out just last Saturday and honestly, it was definitely one of the best dates I've had in a looooong time. And we agreed to meet up with each other again a few days later.
Now, the story goes about Tinder is the fact that it's a hook up app. You find people to hook up with. I believe that but my previous co-workers told me a lot of people use it to find decent relationships.
I thought it was smooth sailing with M. and decided to have a talk before it progressed faster. I legitimately thought he was on the same boat as me and wanted to pursue a relationship... and lo and behold, he's just another guy who wanted a friends with benefits sort of thing.
I mean, we talked it out. He has too much on his plate right now (school, work, volunteer) but he still wants to keep in touch. He's a great guy, I'd love to have him as a friend as well.
And I find myself bummed out but I also found myself thinking... I'm right. I'm using Tinder wrong again.
And the funny thing is that, sure I'm a bit bummed out (because let's be honest, after having talks like that... most people don't end up keeping in touch) but I also realized, I still don't know what I want.
I'm stuck between wanting something casual and and wanting something that's a bit more serious. And it's honestly been this way since The Boy and The Irish Lad. I can't see myself committing to anyone but yet, I still seek it.
I told M. that I want a relationship and if it's not what you want, it's best to go our separate ways and I legit just want to shoot myself in the foot because no, that's not what I want. In reality, I just want something more than friends with benefits/hook ups but not a super serious relationship.
I think it's funny because a few days before M. and I started talking again, I ran into Samir in the gym again. He was a gym member that I found insanely cute, really hit it off easily, and a lot of co workers were rooting for him. And I passed it up because I knew he wanted a relationship and I don't (yet).
|On my Tinder profile it says I love sushi and photography. I also linked my Instagram onto my file and I guess I either swiped left on this guy or haven't came across his profile yet but he actively seek me out on Instagram, haha. #desperate.|
Haha. I've had my fun but it's definitely dragging and the candidate pool is getting shittier and shittier.
So, what else is new in my so called dating life? Boy, I can't believe some of you guys still follow my dating life. I'm pretty sure I'd be 40 and with 6 dogs or something.