Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Bitchin Wednesdays - I am not based on my looks


I hate how society instantly labels us based on looks.

Ever since I dyed the bottom of my hair blue, I've been receiving a lot of looks, mainly from conservative Asians. And it's not the "wow, cool hair!", it's more of like, "She probably does drugs. Look at her nose piercing too."

If I can say so myself, I think I'm a fairly friendly person. I've been told I have a warm personality. A forgiving nature and a helpful spirit. I'm a happy-go-lucky girl.

But, because of the choice of colour I chose to dye my hair, I'm being mislabeled as a drug user, a school drop out, party girl, "Asian fail".

It sucks. In 3 months, I'll be starting a co-op and to be honest, I'm worried that many employers would not consider me because of my hair colour. And we're not talking about a part time position at McDonalds', I'm talking about a professional, corporate business internship with snobs professional workaholics.

However, at the same time, I figured, why would I want to work with a company that judges on my looks rather than my resume and personality. Hair dyes show no link to personality and if you disagree, please give me a scientific research article that links hair colours to personalities.

I know many bodybuilders that are inked with tattoos and at first glance, you'll think they'll beat the living crap out of you, or that they're stupid as hell and probably have a criminal record.

No. These people are genuinely nice people. They would go out of their way to make you smile. They'll be there for you at 3am. They know how to respect girls. They'll defend you in any way. They don't do drugs or go on crime sprees. The only time they'll get violent is if you cross their line.

And let's not forget the "bike gang" image. These people are fairly nice too. From my experiences, I don't know them personally but from a quick conversation, they tell me about their life, their family, their childhood. They have no criminal records, hell, they don't even carry weapons. They just love riding on their bikes in a "gang".

When I get into my HR career, I told myself, I'm not going to judge people based on their looks. I'll judge them based on their resume, our interview sessions and references. In no way would I ever discriminate solely on physical appearances. That's unfair and bullshit.

So, my fellow readers, remember to not judge someone based on their looks. Just because they have 10 facial piercings doesn't mean they're going to eat you alive or if they dye their hair bright pink doesn't mean they're on crack.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

8 calls, 3 voicemails, 3 FB messages...


I sound like a broken record machine playing the same track over and over again.

But, today, this broken record machine is finally repaired... or, I guess, refurbished. In the process of getting repaired.

The Boy, the ex, the one that broke my heart, called me 8 times, left 3 voicemails, and 3 FB message. He was shitfaced and I knew it. But yet, I was curious to why he, out of all people, decided to hit my name 8 times on his phone and searched my name on Facebook.

I was a bit happy to know that I'm still in his conscious. I mean, we all know the truth behind every drunk call / messages. Sure, I might be the one occupying his drunken mind but when I saw the time stamps in which he called, he was out getting shitfaced til 4:30AM, a part of me felt this sudden stab in the chest.

Prior the amount of calls and messages he left behind, we suddenly stopped talking for about 2-3 weeks now. Out of nowhere, he just ignored my messages. He didn't even bother to open them, he just ignored me. Tried his best not to open my message and change the check mark to 'read'.

That, my friends, is the worst way to get ignored. To not even have them read your messages. To know that they're trying so hard to not accidentally open your conversation is just literally shit.

I deleted him off my BBM and off Skype. He didn't bother reaching out to me since until last night.

But, this afternoon, I told him I'm done. My last message to him was I dumping his gifts in the ocean (perks of living at the end of a country!) and blocking him on my phone and Facebook. I told him I didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

This isn't the worst break up ever. This is probably the hardest. He was the best I ever had, and despite all that he's done to me, I still love him. I wish he'd know that.

This is the first and only relationship that I haven't kept anything from him. Not even the movie stubs or old concert tickets. Everything, and I mean everything, is getting thrown away.

It brings me pain that he's the first person I ever blocked in 5+ years. But, you know what? It has to be done.

It should have been done earlier but it's better late than never. I'd unblock him when I leave this city and/or this province.

But until then, my heart is getting refurbished and hopefully it'd be new again. You won't be reading anymore of The Boy on this blog anymore (unless it's to reference something). This chapter in my life is done and closed.

Would I reopen it? I don't know. A part of me fears that when I'm 90, I'll accidentally open that chapter. He may be the one that got away, but I'm happy my heart is finally getting better. 

Friday, April 25, 2014

I stopped after I got 10 straight matches on Tinder

Oh, Tinder, Tinder Tinder... where do I start?

Following my adventures with Badoo, I thought I'd lay off the whole "online 'chatting'" experiences. But, since Lent was over and I just freshly reactivated my account, my friend Kenneth told me to get Tinder because it's a "fun" app to just talk and potentially meet people. He told me his experiences with Tinder and some previous co-worker's experience. I've also read some Tinder experiences from a few blogs I follow.

Here's the thing. I thought of Tinder as a "hot or not" sort of thing. And despite compliments I get, I'm still self-conscious sometimes. So, I was a bit hesitant in joining this thing. I won't know who has "swiped right" for me, but I had this doubt that the people I'll swipe right to won't do the same to me, so I'll be left with very few potential people to chat with. I also have a fear of people I know seeing my profile because Kenneth laughed when we saw mutual friends. He told me, "it's okay, everyone's on Tinder. If they see your profile, you'll come across theirs eventually. Who cares."

Well...

Needless to say, that fear is out of the window.

Last night, while I was binge watching on Nip/Tuck (again), I mindlessly browsed Tinder and out of the few guys I swiped right to, they were all matches.

Allllllll.

I thought, haha, well this is a joke. So I swiped right for a few more people and... they were all matches. Not even one single non match yet.

And that's when I exited the app and focused on the TV show.

I mean, I'm not talking to all these people, just the few that seems interesting to talk to. Surprisingly, I'm having a great time with Tinder. It's so much better to Badoo to the point where I'd say Badoo gives a bad reputation to chatting.

Tinder is fun and casual. Not one of these guys instantly asked to have sex. These people actually want to get to know you first. And bonus? I don't have creeps messaging me. The fact that you can chat with only matched people makes it so much better to know you guys share a mutual physical attraction. Would I consider meeting one of these people for a lunch date? I'm at the point where I don't see why not. I've exchanged numbers with one of them and conversation is amazing.

Guys, I think I might be jumping into the trend of online dating. I don't think I would ever date someone from online buuuut, I'm getting a feeling that the next relationship would be described as "we met online".

Who knows? I don't even know if I'm ready for a relationship yet but nonetheless, I'm happy to potentially meet new friends.

What's your experiences with Tinder like?

Thursday, April 24, 2014

I can't date you if...


... you're an unemployed bum. Here's the thing, if you're not in school or working (FT or PT), we ain't happening. I'm not a gold digger, but I just can't see someone waste their life indoors. I went on a few dates with someone and he told me this: "I ended up borrowing money from my mom to buy her (ex girlfriend) a necklace. When my mum found out, she got pretty pissed off." Errr... sorry but that's an instant turn off.

... you have only female friends. I'm not saying you're not allowed to have female friends... but when you tell me your group of best friends for life is all females... umm, yeah.

... you don't have bromance. I'm a sucker for bromances. I think they're the cutest thing ever. If my man doesn't have a guy he can consider his brother from another mother... sorry. I think there's something wrong with you if you can't make any male friends.

... you have an ugly uncomfortable name. If you have the name of any (and I mean any) of my family members, it's an instant turnoff. I also can't deal with names I cannot pronounce in a million years, unisex names, an ex's name, or a name that sounds really feminine.

... you can't get along with my friends. And not even bother to.

... you're Chinese/Korean/Japanese/Vietnamese. Before you get your panties in a knot and brand me as a racist, stop. I am just not attractive to particular Asian groups for many reasons and of my 20 years of existence, I have yet to find one Chinese/Korean/Japanese attractive. (And, as a Chinese girl... you can imagine how many times I gotta turn down Chinese guys without a good excuse).

...  you HATE sushi. Like, not even come to a sushi restaurant with me. Sure, you may not like raw fish but there's plenty of other dishes.

... you're an extremely scrawny guy and/or shorter than me and/or younger than me. I try not put too much thoughts into physical looks but it's a deal breaker if your arms are skinnier than mines, and you're much shorter than me. I also can't do young guys. Even if you're one day younger than me, no. Anyone with the birthday before Oct. 20th, 1993 is good to go! 

... you still have some sort of attachment to your ex. I just can't... I've dated people that kept sentimental things from previous relationships in a box stored in a closet and when I found out, I felt somewhat uncomfortable. They tell me they open the box once in a blue moon but it's still.. eh. I don't think I can deal with my SO keeping in touch with their exes. It's not that I wouldn't trust him, it's just uncomfortable. And from previous experiences, I had someone that sexted their ex, and also went back to dating their ex after we broke up... so...

... you lack personality and intelligence. If you're not kind, respectful, humours, adventurous, etc. etc. theeeen... I mind as well be talking to a wall. And hey, you don't have to go to post secondary but if you're as dumb as pig, then we're not going to get along. I have friends that dropped out in 9th grade but is one of the most intelligent people I've ever spoken to.

I also can't deal with "gangster" clothes and personalities. Stop acting like you're getting money and bitches... you're not. You're just a part timer at a construction site - not making any "dough". If you wear Ed Hardy... nooooo. No, get out. Just leave.

I also can't deal with "man whores". If you got a high number, I just feel really self conscious and slightly jealous.




What are some of your deal breakers?

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Closet Cleanout for Spring Cleaning!

It's well past the start of Spring, but I finally got around to cleaning out my closet. I would like to say I don't have much of an attachment to clothes, but I found myself giving items "another chance". Eventually, I nailed it down and gotten rid of things I don't even know why I even have or purchased.

The horrors of my closet:


Donation Pile
I got this top from a thrift store for about $7. The first thought I had was... wow, great clubbing top! But man, those embellishments are annoying as hell! They're uncomfortable when my arms are touching the top, they're uncomfortable when they accidentally tug on a thread, etc. etc. I guess I was picturing a '70s clubbing vibe when I purchased this shirt. Didn't even worn it out to any parties because it was just so annoying. I mean, I think I look good in it but it's just too annoying for me to wear out for several hours.

Keeping It Pile
This floral button up shirt is from H&M, and my aunt got it for me back in China and sent it over. I think I've worn it just once but when I tried it on again, I sort of liked it... I don't know why I decided to keep it since I've only worn it once, but I think it's probably due to the colours and the fact that I lack conservative clothes for professional events/workplaces.

Keeping It Pile
My initial thoughts were to donate this item. I've had it for a while, perhaps since 9th or 10th grade? I haven't worn it since high school. Back then, I'll wear it with a grey tank top underneath but since I decided to try it with nothing underneath and just buttoned it up, I thought this could work out.

Donation Pile
If you remember this gem, you're golden! I can't believe I still have this in my closet. I remember seeing this top in a thrift store and thought "Holy crap, this top is old..." but yet, I still have one in my closet. I knew instantly to donate it. It fits wonder, slightly tighter than before, but the thought of wearing it made me feel extremely old and cheap.

Donation Pile
I got this top from ESPIRT in China. I was indifferent about it, but the store mannequin paired the blazer with this top which is why I ended up buying this top... does anyone else do that? Buy one piece but then see a mannequin pairing your loved item with another one and it looks so good you buy the paired item too? Anyways, I've worn it a few times overseas but since coming back to Canada with it, it hasn't left my closet. Whenever I wear it, I also look and feel pregnant.

Keeping It Pile
I have only worn this once or twice since purchasing it back in 2011...! I love Hello Kitty and the only reason why I picked this HK top was to match the $60 min. for free shipping from F21. I decided to keep it because I love HK but also because I just don't know how to feel about this top yet. It's baggy, slightly comfy, and yeah, I don't know what else to say about it. I thought it could be a "fashion" top, but it turns out to just be a very lightweight pullover sweater. I can myself just throwing this on top of a tank top or bikini top when the sun goes down in the summer.

Donation Pile
Thank God that I did not purchase this top. Have you seen this top before? This is the type of fashionable top that is fashionable in... China (and nowhere else, people)! My aunt (like always) bought this top in both black (pictured above) and purple. They claimed it's from an actual Chanel top but... let's be real. I donated the purple one years ago and decided to give the black one a second try, but I just never wore it out. I'd feel embarrassed wearing a top like this out knowing it's fake and really flashy.

Donation Pile
I remember thrifting this too for about $5. I purchased it because I needed more sweaters and while I do love the fit and there's nothing wrong with it, I just fell out of love with this top. I've only worn it once since purchasing it back in 2013.

Keeping it Pile
I have only worn this once since 2011 and the one time I wore it, I felt like a boy. Like the HK top, I remember grabbing this because I needed at least $60 for free shipping. I wanted to throw it away because of that sole feeling of it making me feel like a boy. But when I tried it on again... I sort of liked it. It comes with a lightweight hood which I'm not a fan of but overall, I like the top. I'll give it a second go.

Keeping It Pile
 I got this back in China and it was one of the rare shirts that had correct English (praise the designer that went to school!). I wore it constantly back in China but since bringing it back to Canada, I haven't worn it since. I like it, it's lightweight, cute and really spring/summer like. I decided to keep it for a second chance and if I don't wear it this year, I'll be sure to get rid of it come next spring.

Keeping It Pile
Another case of picking it solely for the purpose of free shipping. When I first saw this on the website, I instantly pictured myself throwing this on top of my bikini on the beach. I wore this out once (not as a bikini cover up) and felt okay about it. It's like a poncho, pretty much, so if I keep my arms down, it'll look alright but once I raise my arm up... gahhhh, it looks horrible. I decided to keep it because I didn't give it any chance when I bought it.

And so, I managed to get rid of 10 items (some not pictured) in this year's closet cleanout. My dad just got back from vacation and he purchased a shit ton of new clothes for me so hopefully they match my taste!

I ended up keeping 6 of the original items I was considering donating. Not bad, considering I've only got 6 items to "try to love again". Looking back at some of the stuff I'm donating makes me feel like I wasted money or clothes I've pictured myself in, but never wore it. That should be a new shopping wake up call!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

6 Types of Friends You Need to Let Go (This Week)

Happy Sunday, everyone! It's the second last week of April and over the past month, I've came to realize a lot about friendship. Yes, even when you're 20 years old and "have the world figured out", friendship is something that is a life journey. As cliche as it sounds, you can't say your best friends today are going to be with you in 80 years.

To make your week (and life) a little better, here are my top 6 friends you need to get rid of... ASAP. These "friends" are unhealthy and just baggage.

1. The Freeloader

If you still have a freeloader in your life, you're losing out on your hard earn money! Yes, it's fine to spot a person when the time calls for it, but if your friend is constantly haggling you about borrowing money, or just ordering a smaller/cheaper dish and taking food off your's, it's time to cut them out of your life. Hell, they might not even buy anything at all and just eat off your plate or out of your own fridge!

Friends are there to lend a helping hand but if you have a friend that doesn't seem to help you in a time of need despite everything you've done for her/him, say goodbye!

2.The User

Similar to the Freeload, the User is one that ONLY is around when he/she needs something. See, the Freeload is one that sticks around and makes you feel like you guys are good friend despite the fact that you're probably paying her bills too. The User is the type of friend that disappears for a month or so, perhaps even half a year and messages you a quick, "Hey, how you doing? Can I ask you a favour?"

And you know what, they're not even genuinely interested in how you're doing. They just want you to drive them across town, or lend them your camping tent. And when you're done doing them the favour... you're left wondering, where the hell have they been for the past few months?!

3. The "Hey, we just broke up..."

I'm no stranger to this one. This is a friend that disappears when they get a new girlfriend/boyfriend and when they break up, your friend comes running to you like the relationship has never happened and pretends to be all buddy, buddy with you.

Um, no. When you choose a guy over a girlfriend in a heartbeat, that shows my value and worth to you. It shows me that some boy you met for a few days has priority over someone you knew for 8+ years.

Friends help you when you have a breakup, but don't expect me to be around when you push me aside for a new boy. I'm sorry, but it makes me feel useless. And you (and I) deserve a friend that wouldn't push us aside for a new lover.

4. The Debbie Downer / The Nancy the Negative

When I'm with friends, I want to feel happy. Granted, sometimes we might not get along, or sometimes the person isn't down to come out for the night. But when I'm constantly asking you out to chill and you make stupid ass excuses, let's just say, you won't be receiving my wedding invite in the future. 

And, I want friends that are happy and supportive of my life decisions. I appreciate the advice throughout life but when something is going great in my life, don't be so negative! It's natural for us to rant and honestly, studies say complaining and ranting does us good but I don't want someone that constantly rants over (stupid) things and bring negativity in my life. If I got accepted to a post-secondary institute, don't tell me "Congrats, but you didn't get into _______".

5. The Backstabber

This is the type of person you should have left back in high school... seriously. The Backstabber is the worst kind. The lying two-face biatch. The only good that comes out of a Backstabber is the fact that you've discovered their true colours. These friends are the ones that will act all BFF to you for reasons we're not sure of (perhaps, they want the gossip?) and once something good/bad comes up in your life, your BFF runs off to a different crowd and starts trash talking you.

And, of course, backstabbing can also be in forms of stealing your boyfriend, or feeding you with negativity (Mean Girls and them calories bars) in hopes of something miserable happens to you. Backstabbers just want the worst for you and would throw you under the bus whenever they can. Did you hear a rumour about you the other day? Chances are, it's your backstabbing friend that started it.

6. The Frenemy

I don't know about you, but I want a complete 100% love and support from my friends. I want someone that can support me no matter what and would be happy with my life. 

According to Urban Dictionary, a frenemy is a 'friend disguised as an enemy.' But wait, wouldn't that mean she's a backstabber? Technically, yes, but The Frenemy does more than a backstabber - she will "be" your friend. Be there to support you when you're getting over your break up but secretly happy that you and Prince Charming are finally broken up so she could have a chance with him. She would also compete with you in life or make it a challenge to do so. 

You don't need to compete with your friends. Friends should be helping you compete with life.


Here`s the number one rule about friendship in life: Quality over quantity

Yes, I would rather have 3 best friends than 20 friends that wouldn`t even ask me what`s going on if I don`t see them for two weeks. Throughout school we were made to feel like we need 100 friends to survive, or, to be `popular` and I think it`s normal. I went through high school thinking I need a bunch of friends but when I graduated, I learned who was really there for me and who wasn`t. I learned the quality over quantity rule and honestly, life is so much better without fake friends carrying their shit baggage. I can have few best friends that I can count on for my life and then I can several friends that I wouldn`t confide my problems to but they`re great Saturday night buddies. 

Have you ever dealt with any ugly friendships?

Saturday, April 19, 2014

#2014BloggerChallenge - A few #OOTDs

This year in Vancouver, we're lucky. This Spring has been much much much warmer than usual and not that many rainfalls. For once, I can wear my leather jacket without a hoodie and still keep warm (did I mention not even zipped up?!). Today, I decided to just wear a light spring floral scarf and by the end of the day, I was sweating.

I'm loving the warmer weather, especially after freezing my butt off for the past few months!

In no particular order, here's what I wore for the past couple of days:
*Excuse the dirty mirror - I swear I'll get around to cleaning it this weekend!


This cute kitty cat shirt is actually part of The Weeknd's Kissland Tour (2013) merchandise. I was lucky enough to grab the last Small in this... and let me tell you something about artist merchandises - their sizes are HUGE. I guess it's because they print them on male shirts but nonetheless, small is still rather big for me so I prefer to pair it with leggings.


Okay, so... I forgot to take a picture of the actual outfit. But, from the little bits in the corner, I was wearing a pink hoodie on top of my Canucks shirt. I paired it up with leggings and flats... does anyone else wear flats with flats socks?! I think it's disgusting to not wear socks with flats... I mean, you swear socks with boots/runners/etc so why not with flats?


I had my first "professional" job fair - you know, for an actual career rather than just a regular part time job. I had to look professional so I opted for business casual - blazer, dress top, and skinny pants. Yes, you will never catch me with flare pants or whatever. Just no. Skinny or it ain't happening.
(Which reminds me, I really need to update my closet to have more business (casual) attire).


This is my most recent one. I don't have much to say about this look aside from I think it looks a bit preppy. Did I mention I got those jeans for $10 and the top for $5-7? It's a bargain outfit!

Since the warmer weather is here, I've been wearing a lot of leggings/stockings and no more layering with hoodies.

What's your spring style this year?

Thursday, April 17, 2014

2 eBay Purchases

It's been a while since I've purchased something for myself. I don't know why but I don't like shopping for myself, like, I'm really stingy when it comes to shopping for myself but for the people I love... it's priceless! I'd try my best to get them something they'll LOVE regardless of the price.

So, that being said, I haven't done any thrifting lately but I have been eying some things on eBay and luckily for me, these items were on sale! Yaaay for patience!

 

So, after a few classes (and some fashion blogs), I felt like my bag was too small. Literally, once I shove my textbook in there, there's no room for anything else which bugs me because sometimes I'd like to carry my tablet or an extra book. 

I saw this bag on an Asian fashion website for about $20. I mean, don't get me wrong, $20 is pretty cheap but knowing that the Asian fashion probably operates in Asia, I decided to look if it was available on eBay - and what'd you know?! I managed to get this cute cat bag for $12... and free shipping! 

Best part about eBay is the fact that if I don't enjoy it, I get my refund back. Whereas the Asian fashion website probably wouldn't even reply to your emails.

 

Likewise for this blue top. I love the chiffon fabric in the spring and summer time. I can dress it up casually or more business-like (which reminds me - I need to update my wardrobe with more business casual attire). This top is $7 with free shipping.

Sometimes, I enjoy being cheap and shopping on eBay instead. Saving me loads on money to spend on other people, haha.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Product Review: Dorco Shai 3+3 Razor (LSXA1000: Soft Touch™ 6 Blade System for Women)

With warmer weather coming around, it's getting pretty obvious it's time to whip out that best friend you call a razor!

Recently, I've had the privilege to be contacted by Dorco to review one of the best selling razors: The Dorco Shai 3+3.



Upon first review, the packaging is quite simple. Like any razor, it proves to be a bit difficult to open up. The back of the box explains the razor's top features such as 6 blades, lubricating band, and ergonomic handle for every turn.



Gorgeous colours! I love pink feminine products. It comes with a nice home that you can stick on your shower, however, for me, I keep my razors out the shower until I use them.

The grip of the razor is amazing! I think it's one the best razors I've ever held. I don't know about you but I love having that sense of control and grip when I shave. In my previous encounters with some razors without the grip, I've manage to make a few cuts here and there.

How well does it perform?
  • 6 blades made my shaving process super smooth and slightly faster than the other razors. The rubber grip around the razor combs the little hair up to get a closer shave. This is the first razor that shaved so close to my skin that I didn't need to go over the area with a tweezer. It also didn't miss any hairs whatsoever!
  • The ergonomic handle was pretty cool too. I think it's the first razor that I've seen that actually bends on its head to match your body's curves. Unlike previous razors, I had to nip a few hairs around my knees but this ones glides over it without any cuts and shaves off the little hair around the area.
  • However, the lubricant is lacking. I have had the Venus razor and that was insanely lubricant that I didn't need any shaving gel. This one however, despite the mention of a lubricant brand, doesn't give out any lubricant when wet. I was disappointed with the lack of lubricant because as a lazy person, I like my products to have a 2-in-1 sort of deal, especially when it comes to shaving as we all know shaving can be a hassle.
Overall, for the price of the razor, it's quite comparable to the top names, if not, slightly better. The rubber guard proves to be a great additional feature for combing up hair for a closer shave, but I wouldn't use this razor to shave my bikini area, solely for the reason of the rubber. The rest of the body such as legs and underarms is a definite win!

Close up of the blades and rubber guards.
Final verdict?
  • Ideal for legs, underarms, not for bikini area
  • Cheaper than leading brand names. If you don't care about name brands, you can save a ton of money without sacrificing quality.
  • Have a can of shaving gel in handy in case your razor doesn't provide much lubricant. 
Product: Dorco Shai 3+3 Razor / LSXA 1000: Soft Touch 6 Blade System for Women
Brand: Dorco USA
Price: $5.95
Rating: 4.5/5
And now, Dorco has given you guys a 20% off coupon on their already low prices!
Enter the coupon code: N1WO575O37W2 for a discount amount of 20% off. Limited 1 per customer, valid until 5/31/14.
DorcoUSA offers three shipping options for their Canadian customers. The first would be "Canada Econo-Shipping" which is a flat rate of $9.99.

The second option would be "Standard to Canada" which is based on the weight of the package, as well as the destination. The price for this option is calculated at checkout based on the items in the cart and the shipping address.

Lastly, all US orders over $25 and all Canadian orders over $40 qualify for free shipping.

*This product review was provided by Dorco USA but all opinions are 100% mines and honest.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

MUST READ: Elizabeth's "Your femininity is not defined by body hair"

If you haven't checked out Bloglovin's popular page, I suggest you do to find new blogs and fantastic new entries. One in particular came across my attention and after reading it, I just HAD to share it with you guys.

Elizabeth from Delightfully Tacky recently posted an entry titled "Your femininity is not defined by body hair".

And, if the title isn't a dead giveaway, Elizabeth voices her opinions on why we shouldn't let our body hair dictate if we're sexy or womanly enough in today's culture.

Seriously, it's a really good read that shouldn't take you more than 10 minutes.

I shave/epilate my legs, armpit, and upper lip facial hair. From my personal experiences, I've my shares of being hairless "down there".  And, honestly, if you asked me, I did it because a guy told me so - stupid right?

The first time I went completely hairless was back in senior year. When I finally saw the results of being hairless, I didn't feel any better. Shaving my legs gave me wonders when I pulled on shorts or leggings, but being hairless didn't change the way my underwear felt (is that just me?).

Instead, I felt slightly... uncomfortable. I didn't feel like I was myself. I wish I can describe how I felt, but there's no way of putting it to words. It just didn't feel as good as I thought it'd be. However, obviously, the guy liked it.

There was one guy that made me felt the worst about it, but, he sort of helped me find my grounds in maintaining my body hair. Long story short, he made me feel dirty and disgusting because of my pubic hair. Trust me, that's a shit feeling and for those whose been through it, you know what I'm talking about. I eventually went hairless again just for his sexual desires.

Eventually, somehow, I didn't go hairless anymore. I grew it out and learned to maintain it - as in, trim and get as close to the skin as possible. That's my preference - groomed and trimmed. I didn't want to look like a pornstar or felt like a little girl (I say that with all due respect to those that wax everything off).

For me, it makes me feel comfortable. To be honest, having hair down there makes me feel like a woman so when I choose to groom my lady part instead of being completely hairless, gave me a good feeling waxing never did.

If you read Elizabeth's blog, you'll understand that she has said everything and I got nothing left to say.

The only thing I can share from my experiences - wax it off for yourself, not for a man. Don't make the same mistake that I did. I'm sorry but if a man can't accept the fact that a woman has hair, he's either A) too immature to realize that not everyone has/wants the body of a pornstar, B) he doesn't appreciate a woman and her body, and/or C) he doesn't love you enough to look past natural biology.

I'm sorry, but that's the way I see it. Sure, a guy can prefer to be with a hairless woman, but if he tells you it's a turn off, it's not sexy, it's disgusting, etc. he's not a keeper, and not respectful towards your decisions. It's like having a preference towards men with blue eyes but you ended up meeting someone with brown eyes. You're attracted to the boy with brown eyes and eventually, love him enough to realize that you don't care if he doesn't have blue eyes.


*No intended insults for those who are hairless.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Friday's Five Cons of Having Male Friends


I grew up with my brother and his friends and my male cousins. Majority of my cousins that are roughly my age, give or take a few years, are males. My female cousins were much younger so I didn't connect with them as I did with the males.

That being said, I grew up with tons of "guy" related stuff and activities. I wouldn't say I was a tomboy, I would still pick my pink dresses over a baseball cap, but growing up with males sort of contributed to having a more "male-mind and personality" than a girl's mind - I didn't start wearing makeup on a regular basis since earlier this year!...

If you take a look at my close group of friends, most of them are males and if you talk with me, most of my stories will be including a male friend over a female friend. To be honest, I don't even know how to talk to girls and establish a relationship with females; I just don't know much about "girly" stuff that most girls enjoy talking about.

 
 1. The "Girly" Things
I'm not shy when it comes to telling my best male friends girly things like bra/panties shopping, my period, hell, even emotions! But, sometimes guys just don't understand what we go through. When I complain about my female friends, most guy friends will ask why girls do such things and why are we even making a big fuss over a certain thing. They also don't understand the "time of the months" (even ones with girlfriends) and think we're overexaggerating everything.

 2. Sexual Energy (& Hook Ups)
Here's the thing: I tell my male friends straight up that they're in the friendzone with no hopes of getting out. I told them, "My friendzone is like Camp 14 in North Korea. No one gets out." Some of them laugh and acknowledges that we're just going to be friends and nothing more. But, sometimes, when we hang out on a 1-to-1 basis, there's some attraction going on and I feel it, and he feels it. My friends are good looking and (some) single, so it's only natural that sometimes when we're in a closed encounter, it's the energy that comes out.

There's this quote that says, "A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other... maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever." - Dave Matthews Band; it's true. There were some male friends that wanted to be more than friends but unfortunately, I didn't feel that way and vice versa. 

Hook ups with friends, and potential relationships with friends is 10x more awkward than meeting and dating a new stranger. I've only done this once - "hook up" with a male friend and luckily, we both know it wasn't right and we're better off as friends. We still hang out, never shared our little secret to the rest of the group and there's no awkward tensions, and better yet, no sexual tensions since we've cleared that. 

 3. VIP Bitch List
I'm not going to lie, I get jealous when my SO tells me he has close female friend(s) or, worst of all, his best friend(s) is a female. Regardless if she is single or not, she gets a VIP seating on the top of my "disliked" list until A) she and I get to BFF level or B) my SO and I broke up or C) she's just out of the picture somehow (no more communication, moved away, etc.). Don't lie, we've all placed that one person on our bitches list.

And, despite me doing this to my SO's female friend(s), I'm also the victim of many, many, many girlfriends. I share a close relationship with my male friends, we share almost everything about our lives and we talk on a regular basis. To the girlfriend, it's understandable that I can be seen as a "threat" despite how persistent the guy may tell her that "we're just friends", "she's my oldest friend", etc. etc. And the one thing I hate the most is when my friends change when they get a new SO.

4. "Are you her... boyfriend?" / The Protective Brother
One of the biggest con and awkward moment are when people ask if your best friend is your boyfriend. I mean, should I be flattered that we look good together? But, nonetheless, we chuckle (awkwardly) and politely deny our relationship and insist we're only best friends. Only.

That being said, whenever I see a good looking guy, I'm pretty sure they assume my best friend as my boyfriend. So, can you say lack of phone numbers, or what? Being with my girlfriends, I'd get hit on a lot but once I'm thrown in my group of male friends, NO ONE comes up to me.

And, when I do find a nice boy, and I gush about him to my male friends, they're usually upfront on telling me the worst of everything. They warn me to be careful and they want to meet him. They want to "approve" on him. They want to intimidate him and tell him that we're her back up gang. You know what I mean?

5. The Match-Maker
Being the girl of many single guys, it's extremely common to get the question, "Can you hook me up with one of your hot female friends?." 

And then, they also want you to "disappear" when they see a cute girl across the club so you wouldn't give the clubbing girl the impression you two are dating.
 

Don't get me wrong, I love being friends with guys for many reasons buuut, it does get annoying when having male friends.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Bitchin' Wednesday - Flight Sales Ads

You know what I really hate?

When I'm picking up the morning paper and I flip to the back page of 24hrs or Metro Vancouver to see the wonderful listings of flights on sales. I mean, I don't have the time to take a vacation but a girl can dream, right?


You know what I'm talking about... that ONE flight that seems like it's the greatest deal of all time and you'll be an idiot not to take advantage of it...

BUT WAIT!


Yup, throw in another $400 worth of taxes and fees which brings the total vacation to like $1,000 which makes it feel like it wasn't on sale to begin with...

Staring at you, Flight Center...
#crushedhopes

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

"Sorry, I'm late! I had a dream that I was a medium..."

I love reality TV shows. I don't know why, but I think it has to do with the fact that I enjoy seeing rich people live their lives.

So, in recent weeks, since Kenneth showed me how to get Netflix US, I've been addicted to TLC TV shows, one in particular: Long Island Medium. I binged watched seasons 1-3, and currently halfway through Season 4, and can probably catch up to the latest episode... by the end of this week or mid next week.


I don't care what y'all say, but I truly believe in Theresa's gift in talking to spirits. But aside from her gift, the one thing I love the most is probably her personality and her family.

Not to be a creep or anything, but look at this beautiful family!

For a mid-40 something years old, she's freaking adorable! I love her honesty and approach in life. And let's not forget about her family! Her two kids are freakin awesome and adorable, and her husband is one of the best husbands I've seen on TV! The family is so tight knit and loving, and growing up in my family, we didn't have that element so seeing such a lovely family fills me with joys in hopes that perhaps I'd be lucky enough to have something like that - fun, loving and caring.


After my weeks of binge watching this series, last night, I decided to watch two episodes before going to bed...

And, I ended up dreaming I was a medium. I don't remember much about it, but I remember just talking to a lot of families, like a group reading. I know I was "channeling" the spirits because they have this white glow around them and they were telling me messages to deliver.

It all happened so fast, I was talking to one family and then in a blur, I had a whole new family in front of me. It was pretty much family after family until I finally woke up.

I ended up missing my alarm so I arrived at school late. As soon as I opened the classroom door, the first thing that came out of my mouth during mid lecture was, "Hey, Terry! Sorry I'm late... I had a dream that I was a medium and it caught me off guard."

To which my professor and classmates replied with:


And I walked to my seat feeling...

 

Monday, April 7, 2014

Blogging Tips: Switching over to Disqus Commenting System

Me, sharing blogging tips?!

HA!

I have been blogging for quite a while, however, I don't do it on a professional level. So, being a personal blogger, I don't give much thought to my blog as others would do - you know, scheduling posts, purchasing a beautiful template, Facebook Page, etc.



I did, however, switched over from the native Blogger comment system to Disqus Commenting System a few weeks ago and I absolutely love it!

What exactly is Disqus? It's an alternative commenting method used by many, many, many, popular websites, especially news sites. It's easily installable (literally, just a click or so to install to Blogger, Tumblr, Wordpress, etc.), and it's highly customizable in colours and settings.

A lot of you will also be pleased that Disqus also drives additional traffic and activity to your blog!

I don't know why I never installed Disqus the very moment I created my blog, but nonetheless, I hope you guys make the switch and marvel at how awesome this commenting system is.

Pros:
  • Easy 1-2-3 installation to Blogger, Wordpress, and Tumblr. You can also choose to install it manually if your site isn't supported by their auto-installation.
  • Customizable in colours to match your template and in settings (profanity settings, moderating, etc).
  • Syncs with your existing/new/future Blogger comments. So, if you chose to install it today, all your comments will be synced with Disqus, and any new/future comments left while having Disqus installed is synced with Blogger (so, if you ever choose to uninstall it, your comments won't disappear).
  • Transferable. I'm not too sure on this feature but the site said you can transfer your entire Disqus to a new website if you wish.
  • E-mail notifications when someone replies to you. This is the key feature to driving additional activity and traffic to your blog. Before installing Disqus, I'll reply to comments but nobody seems to come back and hold a conversation. Since using Disqus, I've seen a big improvement in activity on my blog. And, I also get notifications when other people reply to my comments which is nice too! 
  • Many log-in options! Your readers can leave a comment with their Disqus account, Twitter, FB, or even the regular, Name/E-Mail method.
  • Less spam! Oh my gooooodness, ever since installing Disqus, I have not received a single e-mail notification about spam comments! Sure, Blogger did a great job blocking spams but it still e-mails you when a spam comment is blocked. However, Disqus doesn't allow any spambots whatsoever!
  • For those moderating comments, you can approve or disapprove via e-mail!
Cons:
  • When you sync comments, any threaded conversations you had with a commenter will be displayed like an individual comment. So, if you replied to Commenter A, once synced with Disqus, your reply to Commenter A will be a sole comment and not replied to anything. I assume that'll also happen if you ever uninstalled Disqus.
  • You have to install the mobile version of Disqus manually, otherwise mobile readers will be greeted with the native Blogger comment. This aspect might be tricky for those unfamiliar with HTML.
  • Sometimes, it takes a while to load, or it might not load at all. This might be contributed from the amount of other downloads (heavy images blog), I'm not entirely sure. I'm a patient person and would click on the Reload button if Disqus doesn't load properly, but I can't say that for other bloggers. 
Do you have reasons to why you installed and loved Disqus? Let me know below! :D

Friday, April 4, 2014

My First (and Last) Encounters with Badoo

Have you guys heard of Badoo? I'm sure you have!

Well... last week, (or was it two weeks ago?) I took the plunge and joined Badoo, aka my first online chatting (can we call it chatting?) experience.

As you can tell from this post and most recently, this post, I wasn't joining this social site to meet new people for dating. In the end, I ended up joining in hopes of meeting new friends.

Why Badoo? Because nobody I know is on the site. Like, literally no one. And that made me really happy because as you know, I get embarrassed really easily if someone saw my profile on an online dating site. And, I felt like Badoo wasn't advertising itself as a dating site but more of a chatting site.

Anyways, I took the plunge and filled out my profile and uploaded about three pics. In my profile, I clearly stated I'm not here to look for a relationship, friends with benefits, or hook ups. I'm here to simply chat and hopefully make new friends. I mean, granted it wasn't like that word for word, but I clearly stated it on my profile that I was purely looking for friendship and nothing else and listed my reasons why I'm here instead of looking for friends at school.

Let me just say... Badoo is creepy. Hella creepy.

Within the first few hours of completing my profile, I was being spammed with notifications of people viewing my profile, people wanting to meet in person and people sending me messages. I swear, it's like these guys were just on the prowl waiting for a new female member to join.

(I don't want to sound shallow, but these men weren't even good looking... there were a lot of foreigners that couldn't grasp the spelling of you, what, how, are, etc. we're talking elementary spelling bee.)

Most of them consisted of the generic, hi, how are you? message and when I felt like they might actually be interested in friendships, I replied back to some.

Some so are creepy, they jump right into it: "Want to meet up?"
Some are a bit settled, "What do you look for in a guy?"
And finally, some are smart enough to read my profile and say, "Hey, you seem like an interesting person to talk to, cool interests. You love horror movies?"

There is this one person named 'Rebel' (I ain't making this up), he messages me asking how it's going. I thought it was a friendly convo until he asked if I wanted to meet him for a movie. At that point, I told him I'm not interested and deleted the conversation. A few days later, he messaged me again and I ignored it... he messages again and I chose not to open it this time.

Another user even got frustrated that I wouldn't answer him:
"Hey."
"Hello?!"
"Answer me, hello????"



However, I did meet a nice Korean girl. It turns out she knows my friend, MJ from school! Maybe Badoo isn't a bad place...

WRONG.

Still filled with creeps, stupid creeps, might I add. I got so annoyed, this one Filipino guy messaged me if I wanted to go on a date with him. I asked him "Can you not read? I'm not interested in a relationship."

And he sends back, "Oh, sorry... but are you single?"
I answered back, "What does being single have to do with this?"
He replies, "I'm just wondering, maybe I can capture your heart."


This other guy, I messaged ended up to be pretty cool... at first. We talked about a shit tons of random topics which made me feel comfortable. It made me feel like he was talking to me as a friend. Eventually, we exchanged contact information... let's just said, he started sending me texts like "I really love the way your lips curve in the third photo.", or shit like, "I can't wait to finally get to hold you and explore you.", and can't forget, "What kind of porn are you into? Because, I think I found something we could watch."


I mean, if I knew how creepy this guy was, I would've never given my phone number (thank goodness for iPhone's blocking features!). And then, I thought I could look past a few of these slightly disturbing texts because we have great conversations. He's one of the most intellectual guys I've spoken to in a while and I enjoyed that (I'll even admit, before the creepiness, I thought I could potentially like this guy).

But then his job turned me off (he was a door to door salesperson selling lawn mowing services... um, no). He's constantly talking about Krav Maga practices and getting his body into shape for  Krav Maga (which I thought was like MMA/UFC thing but it's not). He goes clubbing... by himself! (WHO DOES THAT?!) He has not once mentioned any activities with his roommate or friends... which makes me wonder if he's a loner. He still sends slightly uncomfortable messages. Hell, he doesn't even tell me what he's doing for education - like, are you upgrading your high school grades or are you taking online university courses?


Needless to say... although I've had good conversations with many people, and humours conversations with a lot of people, I'm saying goodbye to my Badoo account and never looking back.

Maybe I'm missing out on a large niche of potential friends buuuut, I'd rather be comfortable throughout the day than have my phone vibrate every minute some creeper messages me for a date (seriously, can you guys read?). I envy those (mostly guys, I guess) that can use Badoo to make new friends. But, I guess as a female resorting to online chatting, most of them attempt to make it a date.


PS: My ex's best friend messaged me on the site... LOL, um. No, I don't do that.
PPS: Have a great weekend!