Sunday, April 20, 2014

6 Types of Friends You Need to Let Go (This Week)

Happy Sunday, everyone! It's the second last week of April and over the past month, I've came to realize a lot about friendship. Yes, even when you're 20 years old and "have the world figured out", friendship is something that is a life journey. As cliche as it sounds, you can't say your best friends today are going to be with you in 80 years.

To make your week (and life) a little better, here are my top 6 friends you need to get rid of... ASAP. These "friends" are unhealthy and just baggage.

1. The Freeloader

If you still have a freeloader in your life, you're losing out on your hard earn money! Yes, it's fine to spot a person when the time calls for it, but if your friend is constantly haggling you about borrowing money, or just ordering a smaller/cheaper dish and taking food off your's, it's time to cut them out of your life. Hell, they might not even buy anything at all and just eat off your plate or out of your own fridge!

Friends are there to lend a helping hand but if you have a friend that doesn't seem to help you in a time of need despite everything you've done for her/him, say goodbye!

2.The User

Similar to the Freeload, the User is one that ONLY is around when he/she needs something. See, the Freeload is one that sticks around and makes you feel like you guys are good friend despite the fact that you're probably paying her bills too. The User is the type of friend that disappears for a month or so, perhaps even half a year and messages you a quick, "Hey, how you doing? Can I ask you a favour?"

And you know what, they're not even genuinely interested in how you're doing. They just want you to drive them across town, or lend them your camping tent. And when you're done doing them the favour... you're left wondering, where the hell have they been for the past few months?!

3. The "Hey, we just broke up..."

I'm no stranger to this one. This is a friend that disappears when they get a new girlfriend/boyfriend and when they break up, your friend comes running to you like the relationship has never happened and pretends to be all buddy, buddy with you.

Um, no. When you choose a guy over a girlfriend in a heartbeat, that shows my value and worth to you. It shows me that some boy you met for a few days has priority over someone you knew for 8+ years.

Friends help you when you have a breakup, but don't expect me to be around when you push me aside for a new boy. I'm sorry, but it makes me feel useless. And you (and I) deserve a friend that wouldn't push us aside for a new lover.

4. The Debbie Downer / The Nancy the Negative

When I'm with friends, I want to feel happy. Granted, sometimes we might not get along, or sometimes the person isn't down to come out for the night. But when I'm constantly asking you out to chill and you make stupid ass excuses, let's just say, you won't be receiving my wedding invite in the future. 

And, I want friends that are happy and supportive of my life decisions. I appreciate the advice throughout life but when something is going great in my life, don't be so negative! It's natural for us to rant and honestly, studies say complaining and ranting does us good but I don't want someone that constantly rants over (stupid) things and bring negativity in my life. If I got accepted to a post-secondary institute, don't tell me "Congrats, but you didn't get into _______".

5. The Backstabber

This is the type of person you should have left back in high school... seriously. The Backstabber is the worst kind. The lying two-face biatch. The only good that comes out of a Backstabber is the fact that you've discovered their true colours. These friends are the ones that will act all BFF to you for reasons we're not sure of (perhaps, they want the gossip?) and once something good/bad comes up in your life, your BFF runs off to a different crowd and starts trash talking you.

And, of course, backstabbing can also be in forms of stealing your boyfriend, or feeding you with negativity (Mean Girls and them calories bars) in hopes of something miserable happens to you. Backstabbers just want the worst for you and would throw you under the bus whenever they can. Did you hear a rumour about you the other day? Chances are, it's your backstabbing friend that started it.

6. The Frenemy

I don't know about you, but I want a complete 100% love and support from my friends. I want someone that can support me no matter what and would be happy with my life. 

According to Urban Dictionary, a frenemy is a 'friend disguised as an enemy.' But wait, wouldn't that mean she's a backstabber? Technically, yes, but The Frenemy does more than a backstabber - she will "be" your friend. Be there to support you when you're getting over your break up but secretly happy that you and Prince Charming are finally broken up so she could have a chance with him. She would also compete with you in life or make it a challenge to do so. 

You don't need to compete with your friends. Friends should be helping you compete with life.


Here`s the number one rule about friendship in life: Quality over quantity

Yes, I would rather have 3 best friends than 20 friends that wouldn`t even ask me what`s going on if I don`t see them for two weeks. Throughout school we were made to feel like we need 100 friends to survive, or, to be `popular` and I think it`s normal. I went through high school thinking I need a bunch of friends but when I graduated, I learned who was really there for me and who wasn`t. I learned the quality over quantity rule and honestly, life is so much better without fake friends carrying their shit baggage. I can have few best friends that I can count on for my life and then I can several friends that I wouldn`t confide my problems to but they`re great Saturday night buddies. 

Have you ever dealt with any ugly friendships?

5 comments:

  1. Agree with all of these! As you get older, it's so important to surround yourself with people who bring positivity into you life and people who support you. Leave high school in high school! I definitely agree with the quality over quantity. The people I consider to be true friends are very few, but I'm okay with that. I want people in my life who add something to it, not people who bring me down.

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  2. Completely agree! I have two 'best friends' at home and then a few really good friends from uni and that's good enough for me! Like you said, quality over quantity is for sure the way forward!

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  3. Amen to that! We need more quality friends and less in sheer volume ;)

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  4. Such a great post. It's true that high school makes you want TONS of friends but in the end, I don't remember many people stand with the "same" army of friends as they used to throughout years. Frenemy is the worst kind, ah!!

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  5. These 6 typical friends, I sure had them or know them :o
    But I still hope me and my closest friends will still remain
    friends for decades c: Xx

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