Friday, July 31, 2015

My name is Jess and I'm a Workaholic

I've been working since I was 14 years old, the legal age in Canada to obtain work. My first job was a cashier/server at Dairy Queen. Eventually I "moved up" from fast food and work comfortably.

That being said, I understand hard work. I work hard to obtain the skills I need to advance myself and my career, whichever path it is I choose. I work hard to gain the trust of management. I work hard to earn the paycheck I deserve.

At my current job, one that I adore a lot, one thing has been getting on my nerves: when my co workers tell me to "Stop working so hard." or "Don't take it so seriously. It's no point."

Right now, my manager is on vacation and prior to leaving, he and I talked about leaving the place for me to run as a team leader during the three weeks he's gone. I pretty much take care of anything that goes wrong - basically acting supervisor/manager.

I appreciate people acknowledging my hard work. I don't want to seek praises but when someone tells me how hardworking I am, I am happy someone appreciates it and sees it. So, they're not surprised when my manager asked me to take charge. They joke that my manager and I are "bffs".

I'm not insulted or anything but I do feel a bit of tension from some of my coworkers when they find out the trust my manager has in me. I worked hard to earn the trust of my manager and hell, I deserve his trust. I deserve to be put up higher than my colleagues because I proved myself.

It's in me to always work hard, regardless of the situation or workplace (unless I REALLY hate it there). I hate when people tell me to stop working hard because I actually find that insulting. It stresses me out because I feel like they're passive-aggressively telling me that I'm a workaholic.

It worries me that I'm a workaholic. I would choose work over school and friends sometimes. It's not the money that I'm after, it's something else that I can't explain. Growing up, my parents weren't home 90% of the time because they're always so busy running their business so I grew up extremely independently with not much of a close relationship with my parents. I lived a comfortable life because they worked and worked and worked.

I don't want that with my kids. If I'm a workaholic now, at age 21, at a job that is not even my career, what would it say about me when I do settle into my career and with kids?

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