Sunday, March 27, 2016

This is the part where you begin to drift from your friends

I was hanging out with my cousin the other day to catch the Canada vs. Mexico soccer game which Canada lost drastically buuuut oddly enough, I'm not too bummed out because I don't consider summer sports to be Canada's forte. I mean... who seriously tunes in to watch the summer Olympic games in Canada? Haha.

Post game. 0-3 Canada vs. Mexico
My cousin and I were walking towards a late night sushi restaurant to grab something to eat. I was complaining about my Saturday plans because at the time I agreed to it, I was down but as the days crept closer, I wasn't in the mood.

I told my cousin I felt that my lifestyle no longer revolves around clubbing and spending a fortune drinking with a bunch of strangers. I told my cousin that clubbing is no longer my scene because it's not a place to catch up with my friends or meet new people. I'm no longer phased by having half my boobs pop out in order for guys to pay attention.

I mean, is it even genuine interest if you're half naked? I'd rather appreciate a compliment when I'm fully clothed than wearing a short mini-skirt and low cut shirts.

My cousin told me I'm at the stage in life where I'd start to stray away from friends that I no longer share the same lifestyle with and associate myself with those more similar to me.

I'm not a prune. I still have fun but I'd rather do it elsewhere and not at a club. I don't know when society deemed that the best thing you can do is go clubbing.

I noticed I hang out with my co workers more than my girlfriends because I see them much more than I do my actual friends but it's also the fact that they're similar in age but seek fun elsewhere than a club. And that not all outings requires us to drink. They have similar goals in trying to reach their careers or finish school.

I think everyone knows friends stray after high school or during your mid 20s but I think it's interesting to experience it for yourself rather than read about it.

I no longer share the same lifestyle as some of my best friends and that's okay. We may drift but that's okay because I still trust and rely on them. I just hope that they're understanding of my lifestyle differences and respect that as well.

I still keep in touch with my girlfriends via messages and occasionally meet up for dinners and movies but I honestly don't think I can continue hanging out with those who revolve themselves around nightclubs and drinks. There are so many other ways to have fun without getting drunk, half naked, and struggling to find out how you've been for the past few weeks over loud blaring music and strangers.

And right now, I'm so close to graduating and starting my career. Maybe in the past few years when I was nowhere near finishing my school, I'd join them in nights out but now, I'm more focused on my career than anything else and I'm alright with that :)

Monday, March 21, 2016

Let It Go

It's a windy day - then again, Wellington is known for its winds, just like Vancouver is known for its rain. I came to Wellington in hopes of finding a new home, a place to essentially run away. It's my last day and I decided to spend it around Oriental Bay.

I'm watching the vast ocean fiercely hug the shore. The powerful winds made the waves and ocean look so much better. I'm sitting down, absorbing my surroundings. There are joggers behind me. There's a beautiful dog coming just around the bend. Across the beach is a team preparing for their morning jog.

This morning, I forgo my headphones. I wanted to listen to Wellington rather than the songs I've heard over a billion times.

I still couldn't believe I made it over to New Zealand. Sure, it's not a move, it was more of a vacation but I followed one of my dreams. I chose to run to New Zealand to get away from Vancouver, and some of its bitter memories that are tied to several landmarks of the city. Ultimately, I wanted to run away from the city because it's where I had my first heartbreak. It's where I feel I can never get rid of my ex because he's everywhere. It's where I feel trapped sometimes. It's where I feel I can't fully move on if I'm in the same city as my ex.

I'm now deep into my thoughts and still watched the currents with content. I've been analyzing my "relationship" with my ex. We've been "on and off" is what society would describe as.

Before I left for my two weeks New Zealand trip, I met another boy at work. I always noticed he would say hi and bye (to me) whenever he came to the gym. Eventually, I stopped him and asked how his weekend was. From there, we bonded over sushi, chicken wings, school, and whatever else. I left for my trip shortly after introducing ourselves but he left a lasting impression.

During my days in Wellington, I've noticed a lot of couples traveling together. I've never been the envious type, or the one what craves a companion.

But the more I see it around me, and the more I analyze my "relationship", I realized I want something more serious. I want to be able to see myself on future trips with the guy I'm sleeping with, but I can't with my ex. I began thinking about my future and oddly enough, my ex isn't the guy I want to have kids with. He isn't the guy that I want to move in with.

I still love him, and I think a part of me will always love him, but not as much as I did before we broke up the first time. But whatever I have with him isn't serious. He's not giving me what I want and I don't know why I'm staying. I'm starting to see the lies I've told myself whenever I'm with my ex.

I would make excuses up. Excuses like, my ex still keeps all my gifts I've returned to him, that means something right? He sleeps with the Hello Kitty pillow I returned to him, that's a sign right? He never picks up a new girl on his nights out. He always calls me whenever he's drunk because that's a sign of something, right? It's a saying that you mean something when you're the person they think of when they're pissed drunk. He kept my number after switching phones. He called me after six months of no contact.

All of those were lies I told myself to justified why I kept sleeping over at his place. Lies I told myself in hopes that he would want to restart a serious relationship again. Lies to comfort me thinking he has legitimate feelings for me.

I made the decision before returning back to Vancouver. I want something more serious and he wasn't going to give it to me. I just met someone I potentially may like in the near future and I'm not going to let that moment pass because of all the lies I told me.

I told my ex I wanted something more serious and he said okay. A part of me feels a bit disappointed and upset because I'm saying goodbye to an important chapter of my life. But at the same time, I feel very hopeful and free.

I'm free from the lies I've been telling myself. I'm free from the habit of checking up on my ex's previous girlfriends or "best female friends". I'm free from that horrible feeling of wanting more when I'm with him.

On and off relationships are always hard, but I'm confident that I've fully let go of this chapter. I have a future to focus and look forward to. I have so many close friends to rely on and support me. I always knew this day will come because of the lingering doubts I've had about my ex.

I want something more serious. I don't feel lonely or old. I just want something with someone I can see a future with. I don't want to continue lying to myself and giving myself false hope. I don't want to be tied to social media stalking - how pathetic is it that we officially ended a few years ago but I still search all his female friends on Instagram and Facebook?

I'm free.

I let go and I'm free.

Monday, March 14, 2016

EP. 3 | A Day in Auckland & EP. 4 | Poutine Vlogs (New Zealand Recap pt. 1)

Happy Monday!

After one week of returning to the motherland, I've finally gotten around uploading my vlogs and choosing blog posts photos for my New Zealand trip.

If you don't know, I travelled to New Zealand back in February to meet up with Kendel from Little Misadventures - talk about a bloggers meet up, eh? Before you get all antsy to comment about how unsafe it was to travel overseas for a stranger, Kendel and I have known each other for ~4ish years already?? We message each other every single day and we skype at least once a week. Literally, Kendel knows all my dirty little secrets, haha. Personally, I would advise against travelling overseas for a complete stranger without prior contact and established friendship.

Another part of my trip to New Zealand was also to check out the country. I've talked about moving over there but I needed to see the country beforehand. The two weeks in NZ, we hung around Auckland and I also checked out Wellington.

I did not know YVR had a life size chess board!

Air New Zealand is probably the best airline I've ever flown with! Delicious food, extremely comfortable seats, great entertainment selection, and awesome staff!

Flying to NZ has been the longest trip I've ever taken. It was about a 15 hours flight but extremely comfortable with Air New Zealand.

Canada meets New Zealand!

First meal in New Zealand!

It took some mental adjusting to comprehend that I'm half naked in the middle of February!

I chose to land on a day where Kendel had to write her last final exam sooooo the first day, we chilled at the beach for 20-30 minutes (got a tan!) before I spent about three hours in the mall by myself because Kendel was off writing an exam, haha. We also caught Deadpool which was a pretty good movie! Did you know kiwi movie theatres has NO ADS?! I mean, the theaters back at home probably runs about 2-3 ads before the movie starts and the rest are entertainment news and about 3-4 trailers buuuut to arrive early and all you see is trailers is amazing!

Of course I need a photo with an award winning chocolate ice-cream...

If you haven't watched the vlog, I mentioned how awesome it is that NZ's Chinese New Year is celebrated over an entire weekend in such a huge park ground. We only celebrate CYN with one 2-3 hours parade the following Sunday of the New Year Day.

I think in total, the first day we walked about 12km!

I wanted poutine and Kendel was interested in trying poutine as well so we Googled where is a good place to grab some. The restaurant was the bomb dot com and one of the things I would miss dearly!

I was really bummed out about the whole astronaut experience thingy. I legit thought it was a hands on experience and not just a crummy kids video! Most of the stuff I knew already from Chris Hadfield and various space movies.

Over the next couple of days, I'd share my recap of my two weeks New Zealand trip last month. Hope you enjoy them!

Sunday, March 6, 2016

5 Tips to Saving Money on Your Vacation

I just got back from my New Zealand trip and it was amaaaaazing! I'll be posting up pictures and recaps over the next few days/week!

But, I think everyone agrees with me that vacationing can be expensive. Whenever I plan my trips, I try to stick to my budget (aka budget travelling) but not limit myself to what a foreign city has to offer.

Skipping aside the generic tips on saving money (eg. finding cheap flights), here are some extra tips to saving money on your vacation(s):

Hostels can be your best friend.
I adore hostels. I mean, $30 per night?! Count me in! I don't believe in spending $100+/night for hotels where A) you're only there to sleep/refresh and B) it's "stuffy" aka nothing fun to do. Hostels are cheap and fun! During my stay in Wellington, I stayed at YHA Wellington City and absolutely enjoyed it. Because the thought of sharing a community bathroom and room with 6-8 people terrifies me, I chose to chip in a few more dollars for an ensuite room where I shared a room with only three other females and had our own bathroom. If you're interested in trying out hostels, check out this guide!

Skip the souvenir shops.
If you're one to buy souvenirs for yourself and/or friends/family, this one can save you tons of money. In my local dollar stores, they sold a lot of Canadian keychains so when I was overseas, I checked the dollar stores for souvenirs (especially those dollar stores located in touristy streets). To my surprise, I found beautiful glass souvenirs for $2.50-$3.00 (whereas this would have costed me probably $8-13) and keychains for $2. I remember seeing a beautiful keychain for $8.50 and found a similar one at the dollar store for only $2.50! I did venture into souvenir stores for specific items I couldn't find in dollar stores.

Speaking of souvenirs, carefully plan out who you want to get souvenirs for. Does Billy from two cubicles down really need a souvenir just because he purchased coffee for you a few times? I used to buy souvenirs for co workers and acquaintances. Now, I buy them only for close friends and family.

Stay in.
Travelling doesn't mean you have to be outside 24/7. Stay in! I chose to stay in a few times during my trip in New Zealand and had no problem whatsoever. After x amount of days on our feet and damaging our wallets, one (or a few) days relaxing allowed us to replenish our energy and gave our feet and wallets a break. In Wellington, I chose to stay in at night time rather than window shop (and potentially spend more money) or hit the pubs. Plus, my hostel was doing movie night.

Don't dine out for every meal.
During my vacation, we went out to eat for only for lunch and a quick snack from time to time. We never went out to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and rarely ate out for two meals a day. What we did was went out to eat for one meal and usually for dinner we hit the grocery store for stuff to cook or a huge precooked chicken that lasted for days. Just like dinner, breakfasts consisted of things found in the fridge rather than on the menu.

Pack what you have, don't buy what you want.
It seems like a no brainer but I'm surprised by the amount of travelers that don't pack what they already have (eg. towels, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc) and instead, buy them upon arrival. Some would argue it's to save luggage space but you're wasting money. I chose to pack what I need and in a small suitcase so it limits what I can buy on vacation. I think everyone is tempted to hit up the shops and see what fashion is trending in foreign cities. Because I had limited luggage space, I carefully chose what I purchased which helped me save a lot of money because I knew for a fact that if I had a bigger luggage, I would have purchased more. Yes, I had days dedicated to shopping during my trip but that didn't kick me out of my budget.


Will you be travelling soon? And if so, where?
Share some of your money saving tips while on vacation!

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

10 Things That No Longer Phases Me When I Got Older

When we get older, our priorities and opinion changes as well. The things we once love may no longer mean anything to us anymore or our preferences for things can change.

For me, so many things have changed since I've gotten older. I view and feel things differently. Here are just some of the things that no longer phase me since I got older:

1. Having x amount of friends.
Quality over quantity. I am no longer afraid to cut off ties with individuals that I feel are toxic in my life.

2. Chasing boys.
For the most part, I know what I want in relationships and men, and now, I don't waste my time and effort chasing someone that doesn't want me enough. Chasing someone is fun but not when it's misleading and confusing to me.

3. Going out every weekend.
Just because I say no to a weekend outing doesn't make my life dull. I just like to invest my time (and money) elsewhere from time to time.

4. Dressing to impress.
Admittedly, I used to dress (provocatively) to get impressions from boys. Now, I just dress to my own comfort level and only dress up to making a first impression on interviews or formal events sort of thing.

5. Not caring what others think.
Similar to the one above, as I got older, I began to do and dress the way I want to without giving much to other people's thoughts and opinions. I was taught to value the opinions of those who matter to me.

6. Pooping.
If I gotta go, I gotta go. It's only human nature to poop. I am now comfortable to do it in my friends' places and in public if I really gotta go. I also have a sensitive stomach so the faster I got over the initial embarrassment of pooping, the faster my body thanked me for it.

7. Being assertive.
I can fully say "no" and speak about any issues without hesitating or feeling bad anymore. I feel the older I get, the less I want to be pushed around or taken advantage of.

8. "You owe me"/"It's $20 each"
Remember how back then we all used to split the check on something or keep tabs on people? The older I get, the more I feel money is such a stupid thing for friends to dispute or talk about. If I'm doing financially okay, I wouldn't mind picking up the check once in a while or loan out $5-10 to friends and not ask for anything in return. Keep in mind, I only do this for those I really care about.

9. Taking a billion pictures
I now live in the moment. I still take photos from time to time and when I'm on vacation but for the most part, I don't take a billion photos and forget to live in the moment. Just because I have no photos of my party weekend doesn't mean it never happened.

10. Alone time.
I need my alone time. I like to do things alone. Back then, the idea of being alone meant someone had no friends, but now, I stir crazy if I don't get my alone time and don't mind it if people think I don't have any friends to go watch a movie with.

I think it's scary how much our peers and society influenced the way we act and think growing up. I remember holding in my stomach pains when I was a teen because it's an embarrassment to poop in public when everyone knows pooping is natural. I hate how saying no means we're selfish and we're assholes. I hate how society says we need to go out every weekend and that being alone in public means we have no friends.

Growing up allowed me to break from those "norms" and be more comfortable with myself and do things the way I want to. I hope that some of my younger readers will realize that some of things society deems unacceptable is perfectly okay.